an Ode to our kitchen sink.

we are not friends.
Now kitchen sink I realize that in fact we are little more than strangers but lets be serious for a minute here.
you're something of a jerk and I don't appreciate it. not one bit.
Today I attacked the pile of dishes anxiously sitting and waiting on your steel side surface. The pile, eager to be plopped into the hot soapy bath water ( which for dishes I figure is very spa like, giant hot bath, a cleaning, brush massage, hot water rinse off and a relaxing air dry in a rack. a RACK for heavens sake! that's like a bed for them!)
I digress.
As I go about preparing the day spa for our dishes, I patiently wait while the water turns to hot water. . . BUT as per usual, and what seems to be the case with almost every faucet in Australia that I've come across (* and ESPECIALLY in our apartment) the water always taps out (see what i did there. . . TAPS . . .a ha! I'll stop.) at luke warm. tops.

Now sink, I understand. sometimes it really must be a challenge to work up the energy to heat water. I also understand that it is not necessarily your fault for the lack of hot water and that this might be simply a shooting of the proverbial messenger but sink, do you have ANY idea how frustrating it is to wash dishes in water that isn't even hot enough to cook a hot dog in?! and not only that but dishes take FOREVER to dry when you rinse them with cool water! ( I would too if I took cold showers . . . oh wait.)

but thats nothing compaired to your pressure.
Now I'm all for fun and jokes and yes the first four times you gushed water so hard that it soaked my shirt and got me in the face were a little less than hilarious but in the opposite direction, the sucking force of the water leaving our sink in enough to rip the skin right off your hands. I think my hands have less freckles on them now then when I started. I am convinced in fact that the sheer brute force of our sink's draining system is what most people refer to as the EAC (East Australian Currant) its really the only explanation . . .

So Sink here it is. I just don't think that its going to work between us. its not you, its me.
no
wait
it is you.
But I think you're a really special person . . . and I promise to still come around but lets just focus on being professional and cordial, I promise not to curse and loath you if you just do what you can to make this a fast, and hot experience for both of us.

Sincerely,

Katie May