Stranded.

I feel like a hostage.

my car is broken. Which I admit makes me sound like every SoCal princess on the block but seriously. I do.

long story short, a ladder fell off the back of some *curse word*'s truck because the moron clearly didn't know how to properly tie down something that is basically only a structure with a zillion different possibilities of how to . . . sorry angry rampage. must quell...urge...to...pull out...hair.

Sooo as this thing comes hurdling down the freeway, I foresee the trajectory going riiiight threw my windshield and possibly through my frontal lobe.

My heart is in my throat as luckily my beast of a car pounces on the stupid ladder like a lioness on prey.

Seeing as my car is old, well go with " pounces on the stupid ladder like a grandma wearin slippers would pounce on rice pudding" even though i've always fancied Chocolate.

I digress.

So now, once again. I am virtually a hostage. In a place that I could scarcely figure my way around in as is.

Once again i've had to resort to begging for rides to school. Missing one class can be means of dismissal im told. weeellllll I cant do much about this one. I've called in my favours and even asked friends of friends.

Seems like everyone has things to do and there own lives to attend to (*The nerve. ok I joke)

This past weekend included a little chunk of crying. Okay a decent sized chunk of crying. I've felt since moving down here that, although I know that I did it for the right reasons, I've never felt so alone. With him working everyday and sometimes on the weekends, I'm virtually left alone most of the time. Not that I can't entertain myself but in a place that isn't as safe as home, with no mode of transportation or frankly any destination to get to and almost no friends at all. . . Its a loneliness that i've never felt before.

Far from the people and places that I love. If home is where the heart is, I dont think i'll be home again for a long long time.

16 oz to a pound where you need 40 oz to freedom

Sitting in class. Bakers percentages. fabulous - math - my favourite.

Barf.

surprisingly though I am understanding this. if flour is 100% of a recipe and water is 70 yadda yadda yadda.

solve for sugar.

Giraffe is 100% and camel is 70% solve for monkey.

but I actually get it. I can solve monkey for once!

One of the girls in the class is lost. utterly lost and I am sitting listening to the chef write on the board in his funny version of english how to come up with the cost per oz when its given in pounds.

His explanation is met with blank stairs. Everyone starts talking at once trying to figure out what in the flippin dyna he is talking about.

Sitting in the front row I stick my hand up.

Everyone is talking so as the rules of third grade classes go. even if your quiet with your hand up and everyone else is talking its pretty redundant. Im basically holding a paper umberella in a storm.

In third grade fashion I stick my hand up farther. bite my lip and stretch my fingers to the sky.

I lean over and put my other arm behind the first for support.

I sing loudly "UUUUuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhh ccccchhhhhheeeeeffffffffffff cammmmoooonnn!!!! I can explain this better!!! I knooooow what to doooo"

silence.

the chef blinks at me and offers me a marker for the white board.

in his french accent he says "Okay ms smit, you think you can explain it to her better in a way she will understand?"

gulp.

all of a sudden I feel like im on stage alone and this giant spot light just Zooms down onmy face.

"yeah I think I can"

I stood up and walked to the board.

I looked straight into the girls eyes who had the most trouble of all and I began.

Hokay marci lets do this, we know that we need 4 oz of yeast right?

right

now if we know that there are 16 oz to a pound, that makes 4 oz what?

*Blank stair*

okay that makes one quarter right? 4+4+4+4 = 16

okay yeah!

okay cool so in decimal form a quarter is ... .25 just like money

ohhhhhh

so then .25 is exactly the same as 4 oz but now we have it in pound form. the cost is 1$ per pound and we need .25 which makes it. . . 25 cents. see?

Yeah yeah i get it!

"okay mizz smit another. Sugar this time"

no prob bob. (*chef was surpised by this answer. )

Okay marci lets do this again. we KNOW that 4 oz is . . .

a quarter, .25

Exactly and since we need 8 oz and we are all smart people in this room, we all know that 8 oz to a 16 oz pound is. . .

Half a pound! .5 ! aaaaaahhhhhhh im getting it! see chef! she explained it perfectly thats what I needed! I get it now! oh my goodnesssssss

YES! ^_^

so we laughed and did the math on the board and I sat down.

Later on in class, During a demo, a man in my class comes up to me. He is atleast a foot taller than me. Black as black and missing a gang on teeth in his mouth. He nudged me.

Oh Hi Phillip how are you?! (*this man is wonderful, so nice and i really really enjoy talking to him)

Im goood im goood, you know that math you did today? that was really good, I mean I actually understood it, i had no idea what i was doin before but you explained it real good. you shoulda been a teacher.

Thanks phillip

I like liking school and doing well. I realize now that I am as smart as my parents told me. All that "you have so much potential " talk i got from teachers that I brushed off and didnt listen to. . . Its a shame it took me all of highschool and a wasted first college attempt to figure that out.

Its never too late

Katie Baby LA Lady

We were waiting for like ten minutes.

What does his guy think he's doing?

Are you serious? COME ON.

Yes Hellloooo its me. stairing you down.

You know what I want its in view.

this guy had like 5 tables to serve and I sat there and watched him do basically nothing while asking his manager twice to run our drinks. The both decided not to and that was what began the laser beam vison. This beer was sitting out in the open for what seemed like hours, the foamy head of the beer deflating from loneliness.

Finally his eyes meet mine.

Im sitting with my left thumb under my chin. my other fingers are lightly resting on my lower lip.

and theeeeen I raised my eyebrows and stuck my hand from under me. as if to say " UMMMMM HELLO?! what are you doing!?"

worst server ever.

" Jeeeez babe if I didnt know any better i'd say you're getting a little LA in you..."

Yesterday A women in front of me changed lanes in an intersection without signalling causing me to stomp on my breaks so hard that the tires screeched.

I flipped her off.

Good God, what is this city doing to me?