Zombie Survival Plan.

So this week i've had to come to terms with an irrational fear that I have of those Lifeless sacks of flesh called zombies.

Now generally I can deal with scary movies (*As long as I look through my fingers) and I am pretty capable of dissuading myself into believing that the chances of being attacked by a serial killer or in the fashion of some SAW movie (*which I have never seen nor do I plan to - I firmly believe that ignorance in this case is bliss.) is statistically one in a million. - I also use this reverse affect when it comes to buying things while shopping. . .*Sigh*.

So Man and I sat down and watched season 1 of The Walking Dead on netflix.

Mistake.

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THAT SHOW?! The first four minutes went something like this:

Babe- you are gonna LOVE this show. trust me

mmm i Dunno. . .I still . . .auh. . . I like zombies but . . . okay lets try.

*Two minutes later*

NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO F*%$ING WAY. sorry. you can watch this alone.

aaaaand thats all I saw of episode one.

Man continued to watch epi two and I read my book and listened to music in the other room. With man feeling under the weather, he stayed in bed all day. Taking this rare opportunity to cuddle the living bezeejus out of him (*Who is constantly on the go moving moving moving) and let my nursing instincts kick in. Toast with a little butter, Ginger ale, assortment of crackers.

Wanting to spend time with him. I stayed for episode three.

By the end of the season, my head was nothing but a blur of "What if"s "Holy Sh!t"s and a lot of "ohmigawdd we are all gonna die once this thing goes down". (*Thing = zombie apocalypse clearly)

That night was beyond sleepless. If I got a total of two hours I will be very surprised.

every sound outside - Zombies.

Rustle of an animal in the tree - Zombies climbing over fences to eat me.

Silence - Zombies staring at me through the window thinking about how pink and creative my brain must taste like and how they would like to eat it or maybe fry it up with some farva beans and a nice bottle of chianti. . . Some times I let myself get carried away.

I was upset for the first time in my life over not knowing how to assemble and fire a gun. and I mentally kicked myself for not asking my parents to put me into archery as a child or ask for a cross bow for christmas (*re-useable amo, smart right?)

After some furious texting to my support crew back home, someone thankfully sent me a very helpfull link that I will post belong to quelle your fears too.

I rolled over to him who was sort of awake after all my uncomfortable shifting in bed.

- hey. are you awake?

mummble mummble bleh? mummble

okay perfect. heres the plan. zombie-pocolipse - we get your gun. get on the motorcycle and head straight for Canada. Zombies freeze.

mummble mummble wha? mummble

Okay or Arizona, they cant stand heat. THEN Canada.

mummble okay canada, arizona.

Did you lock the doors?!

are you serious right now?

. . . maybe. . .

*SIGH*

okay fiiiine im scared. im terrified and i haven't slept all night. IF they are real and they come don't let me be one. get it over with before and make sure to take care of me first cause you know you have to shoot them int he head and destroy the brain and i don't think i could do that to you, you know i'm not that strong of a person, I would really freak out about it and I just cant handle that kind of...

goodnight K.

Now that I have formulated A zombie plan, went through the house and backyard and found everything that would be a good weapon and how to use them. I feel okay.

Next for the time: Paranormal Activity 2.

whyyyy do I put myself through this?! . . . I wonder how receptive the other watchers would be to maybe watching Cloudy with a chance of meatballs instead. . .

http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html