Stranded.

I feel like a hostage.

my car is broken. Which I admit makes me sound like every SoCal princess on the block but seriously. I do.

long story short, a ladder fell off the back of some *curse word*'s truck because the moron clearly didn't know how to properly tie down something that is basically only a structure with a zillion different possibilities of how to . . . sorry angry rampage. must quell...urge...to...pull out...hair.

Sooo as this thing comes hurdling down the freeway, I foresee the trajectory going riiiight threw my windshield and possibly through my frontal lobe.

My heart is in my throat as luckily my beast of a car pounces on the stupid ladder like a lioness on prey.

Seeing as my car is old, well go with " pounces on the stupid ladder like a grandma wearin slippers would pounce on rice pudding" even though i've always fancied Chocolate.

I digress.

So now, once again. I am virtually a hostage. In a place that I could scarcely figure my way around in as is.

Once again i've had to resort to begging for rides to school. Missing one class can be means of dismissal im told. weeellllll I cant do much about this one. I've called in my favours and even asked friends of friends.

Seems like everyone has things to do and there own lives to attend to (*The nerve. ok I joke)

This past weekend included a little chunk of crying. Okay a decent sized chunk of crying. I've felt since moving down here that, although I know that I did it for the right reasons, I've never felt so alone. With him working everyday and sometimes on the weekends, I'm virtually left alone most of the time. Not that I can't entertain myself but in a place that isn't as safe as home, with no mode of transportation or frankly any destination to get to and almost no friends at all. . . Its a loneliness that i've never felt before.

Far from the people and places that I love. If home is where the heart is, I dont think i'll be home again for a long long time.

16 oz to a pound where you need 40 oz to freedom

Sitting in class. Bakers percentages. fabulous - math - my favourite.

Barf.

surprisingly though I am understanding this. if flour is 100% of a recipe and water is 70 yadda yadda yadda.

solve for sugar.

Giraffe is 100% and camel is 70% solve for monkey.

but I actually get it. I can solve monkey for once!

One of the girls in the class is lost. utterly lost and I am sitting listening to the chef write on the board in his funny version of english how to come up with the cost per oz when its given in pounds.

His explanation is met with blank stairs. Everyone starts talking at once trying to figure out what in the flippin dyna he is talking about.

Sitting in the front row I stick my hand up.

Everyone is talking so as the rules of third grade classes go. even if your quiet with your hand up and everyone else is talking its pretty redundant. Im basically holding a paper umberella in a storm.

In third grade fashion I stick my hand up farther. bite my lip and stretch my fingers to the sky.

I lean over and put my other arm behind the first for support.

I sing loudly "UUUUuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhh ccccchhhhhheeeeeffffffffffff cammmmoooonnn!!!! I can explain this better!!! I knooooow what to doooo"

silence.

the chef blinks at me and offers me a marker for the white board.

in his french accent he says "Okay ms smit, you think you can explain it to her better in a way she will understand?"

gulp.

all of a sudden I feel like im on stage alone and this giant spot light just Zooms down onmy face.

"yeah I think I can"

I stood up and walked to the board.

I looked straight into the girls eyes who had the most trouble of all and I began.

Hokay marci lets do this, we know that we need 4 oz of yeast right?

right

now if we know that there are 16 oz to a pound, that makes 4 oz what?

*Blank stair*

okay that makes one quarter right? 4+4+4+4 = 16

okay yeah!

okay cool so in decimal form a quarter is ... .25 just like money

ohhhhhh

so then .25 is exactly the same as 4 oz but now we have it in pound form. the cost is 1$ per pound and we need .25 which makes it. . . 25 cents. see?

Yeah yeah i get it!

"okay mizz smit another. Sugar this time"

no prob bob. (*chef was surpised by this answer. )

Okay marci lets do this again. we KNOW that 4 oz is . . .

a quarter, .25

Exactly and since we need 8 oz and we are all smart people in this room, we all know that 8 oz to a 16 oz pound is. . .

Half a pound! .5 ! aaaaaahhhhhhh im getting it! see chef! she explained it perfectly thats what I needed! I get it now! oh my goodnesssssss

YES! ^_^

so we laughed and did the math on the board and I sat down.

Later on in class, During a demo, a man in my class comes up to me. He is atleast a foot taller than me. Black as black and missing a gang on teeth in his mouth. He nudged me.

Oh Hi Phillip how are you?! (*this man is wonderful, so nice and i really really enjoy talking to him)

Im goood im goood, you know that math you did today? that was really good, I mean I actually understood it, i had no idea what i was doin before but you explained it real good. you shoulda been a teacher.

Thanks phillip

I like liking school and doing well. I realize now that I am as smart as my parents told me. All that "you have so much potential " talk i got from teachers that I brushed off and didnt listen to. . . Its a shame it took me all of highschool and a wasted first college attempt to figure that out.

Its never too late

Katie Baby LA Lady

We were waiting for like ten minutes.

What does his guy think he's doing?

Are you serious? COME ON.

Yes Hellloooo its me. stairing you down.

You know what I want its in view.

this guy had like 5 tables to serve and I sat there and watched him do basically nothing while asking his manager twice to run our drinks. The both decided not to and that was what began the laser beam vison. This beer was sitting out in the open for what seemed like hours, the foamy head of the beer deflating from loneliness.

Finally his eyes meet mine.

Im sitting with my left thumb under my chin. my other fingers are lightly resting on my lower lip.

and theeeeen I raised my eyebrows and stuck my hand from under me. as if to say " UMMMMM HELLO?! what are you doing!?"

worst server ever.

" Jeeeez babe if I didnt know any better i'd say you're getting a little LA in you..."

Yesterday A women in front of me changed lanes in an intersection without signalling causing me to stomp on my breaks so hard that the tires screeched.

I flipped her off.

Good God, what is this city doing to me?

Fresh Prince

I saw something yesterday. it was so wierd and amazing and out of place that I had to stop and look twice.

make your mind a canvas cause i've got my key button paints and im gonna paint you a picture.

In The suburbs of LA, I see a house. this house is just like every other pastel coloured house around. Surrounding the house are ornate gold 3/4 fencing with fancy tops. over top of the house and sitting int he backyard is a HUGE blow up bouncy castle. with spires and flags and bright colours exploding into the sky.

At the end of the lane way is a Boy. He is an east indian boy dressed in traditional clothing in a shining gold colour. gorgeous beading and thread work - this outfit is intensional and he is looking sharp.

He is striding towards the gates of this house by an invisible string tied to his chest with a glowing smile of childlike innocence. He holds in his hands a Gorgeous bouquet of flowers.

I couldnt help but wonder who he was going to see? who were those flowers for? A love or unrequited one? was a little girl sitting in the castle waiting for him or was she dreading his arrival? a cousin? aunty? . . .

It almost drove me mad

I decided in my own head that it was the greatest love of all time. I think of that little golden prince. THE fresh prince. flowers, gold and a castle.

Dang, don't try and tell me romance is dead

I am who I be.

man its funny how something so small like an invisible line on the earth can change everything. That line tells me where im from. Who I am and as such dictates how much I have to pay for school. . . invisible lines ...

The other week I found myself in upper state California barreling down some white water rapids in a boat with virtual strangers thinking about how nice it might be to have the guy in front of me fall out of said giant blown up boat. Before the thought could even be finished in my mind -

BOOOOM!!!

we crash up and on to a rock and he is suddenly airborne.

SPLASH!!!

And my first thought was "oh my Gawd is he okay!? where is he!?"

He was fine and we got him back into the boat without a problem. Foiled.

my mean thoughts were trumped by my emergency nice thoughts.

oh blog muhgog being mean is too much work.

How did I get there? good question. these strangers are probably going to be my future family some day. Not this guy.

Its not that I hate him because I dont. Hate is a strong word and I dont really like to use it a whole lot. Hes just. . . ignorant. so so ignorant and that is what prompted my "out-of-boat-flinging" thoughts.

when in conversation ( a few hours prior) he blurts " Your Canadian what you have to say doesn't count. Talk to me when your American"

"Um I never plan on becoming an American"

"Then you don't matter."

I wish my eyes could shoot death rays.

Or maybe wart rays so whatever I shoot will have terrible warts!!! (*See even now I dont really wish death. . . just unhappy things)

This was just one of many rude things he said to me that weekend. When asked by others surrounding me why I didnt lash back at him I calmly told them that "thats not me".

I didnt ignore him

I didnt shun him

and I didnt get angry at him.

People like that just want you to be rude and aggravated back to them. thats what they are trying to do- get a rise outta you.

I aint fallin for that garbage.

It wasn't until later that night around the campfire that he chirped up with "what do you know? your just a Canadian."

Once everyone fell awkwardly silent and glanced at each other and then tentatively at me, I calmly said

"You know what. . . I think you should know that its Ignorant Ass holes like you that give Americans a bad name."

more silence

followed by grins.

Everyone smiled in agreement and added things like "there you go buddy" or "ha ha yeah shes right man" and he finally sat quietly in embarrassment before finally asking me some questions about my country.

I am who I be and I love my country. no matter where I go.

When we left, he shook my hand and I looked him in the eyes and firmly said

"See ya later eh?"

The Jobless Waiters Club

I feel like an old women in a swimming pool. Aqua fit is over its time for the wave swim. Now metaphorically this pool is say

oooOOOooooOOooohhhHHhhhhHHHhhh. . .

I dunnno. . .

pppsssshhhhhh. . .

mmmmMMMMMMMmmmmmmm. . .

school.

No matter how badly I wiggle in the "floaties" on my arms im still just a hot.mess.

caught in wave after wave of of water, higher, faster and stronger than me.

my make up is streeeeaming down my face and blue hair is all but Capoout!

Interntaional student indeed!

lets break it down;

For me to be able to stay in the good 'ol US of A, I must maintain my F1 status. this is the status of an international student and as per the college's rules that means a full time student which is 12 units per semester. example - easier class is worth one or two credits, hard class could be five ect.

Well registering for classes for the regular students happened ohhhh I dunno a few months ago. International students?

today.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?

Oh. ..I didnt mention that we are not allowed legally to work for the first nine months of school right? oh yeah so im broke. this means I need no MUST, NO! CAN ONLY FINISH THIS PROGRAM IF I FINISH IT THIS YEAR. I cant afford to go for a second year as an International student!!! They pay thooouuusands more than the regular students and last time I checked, I have yet to poop golden nuggets.

Alas I get to the international students office and sit down with the others.

check the computers.

there are no classes left.

none.

0_o . . .

*Blood boils.

not even just in my program but like AT ALL.

There are noticeable fist crumple marks on my papers when I release my death grip on them.

okay well I guess i'll just um. . . put myself on waiting lists. . .

Oh CAMMON waiting number 26?!

class 2 - waiting line number 28.

twenty m0*$^rF*&k!ng EIGHT. . .

At the juncture in time my brain is about to Explode.

Several slash ALL of the classes that I need to get into I cant even put myself on the waiting list for because you need to be doing another jam packed class as a co-requisite!

. . . so your telling me that no matter how hard I try, unless these teachers take me in and let me sit on the class that I cannot physically finish in oneyear?

- Yes.

- Okay well what am I supposed to do? a second year isn't an option for me.

- Im sorry.

Now I have a feeling that they are not infact sorry and believe me.

I aint takin this lying down. Push me aside? ppfffttt we'll see.

I will bring sleeping bags and camp outside of the class if i need to. AAArrrrggggg

O O

* O *

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ Today I was a grumpy bear.

Needing to have at least 12 units, I tried my luck on other waiting lists.

As it stands I am number 1 on the waiting list for "Vegetarian Life style cooking" (*even though I am a meatasaurus. . . but More and more i've been leaning to the ' Veggiepreferian' side.)

10th on the docket for "Hip Hop History" (*Thanks be to sweet baby hey zeus that I packed my Easy E shirt)

the next on the list will be interpretive dance for beginners.

Get. the . Eff. Out. Of . My. Way.

So as I sit jobless and I wait. Its a club my International friends and I are in.

The Jobless Waiters Club

Tacos for Dinner and brunch. the new way to live

well not too much to report at the moment accept for yes, today I did infact eat tacos for breakfast/ lunch after also eating them for dinner last night.

go ahead. judge me.

I am happily filed with refried beans and steak and cheese and good stuff.

that being said my rear end is also considered a deadly weapon. lucky lucky boyfriend.

I can smell my home made lasagna in the oven. Yes thats right, today I ventured to find the grocery store(*Ver successfully I might add.)

well i should go, tomorrow is surfin time. Finally <3