Boss,

I Hate working for you. Everyday that I come to work is a day that i would rather spend swimming with ravenous piranhas. A day that I would rather be sitting bare cheeked on an angry ant hill. A day that I would gladly listen to Michael Bolton's number one hits on top volume and repeat all. day.

Do you have any idea how awful you are? Do you know that I have - on several occasions walked home and cried. for hours. Because of what you have said or done to me?

Now boss, I am a proud person. I always have been and because of my beautiful parents and upbringing I have this compelling need to see the good in people but you sir are ugly.

You are an ugly ugly person. your rude and hurtful words leave lasting impressions on people everyday.

Your pretentious bakery is nothing but an empty slave shop for us. your imprisoned oompa-loompas know that Art is no where to be found here. Only Anger and frustration.

You treat us poorly and work us illegally. My bones literally ache and the purple bags under my eyes look like they've been carrying horse shoes.

But this isn't over.

No sir-E-bob it is not.

I am NOT afraid of you anymore.

I dare you to be rude to me again. Be mean to me once more and I'm walkin.

Your Employee with no respect for you,

me.

p.s I feel sorry that you live your life this way. Please start being nicer because you are missing out on so many beautiful things and people.

Excuse me while i just roll this . . .

ha HA! Success in finding a job! i've actually had it for two weeks or so but for flips sake you have NO idea how busy i've been. 10 hour days sometimes! and its in a bakery! a REAL bakery!

but I suck

Im not looking for sympathy nor do i think that my sucking is my own fault. im jsut not at the level of everyone else there.

i know i know. learning curve, newbie. yadda yadda yadda but frig im just frustrated at not being good at something right away. . .

BUT

today I rolled out some PH-E-Nominal looking croissants and the owner /head honcho/ dough god actually gave me a compliment!

not like last weeks

"who made these ugly things?"

*I shrink about a foot*

" seriously. people come from all over the city to get these and look what i have to serve them "

* at this point a garden gnome could have comfortably rested his chin on my head.*

BUT

I am resolved. I WILL become a fantastic baker, up to par with the others and able to hold my weight and become a crucial functioning team member.

YES

one self esteem -less day at a time.

Maury on surround sound- ghetto fabulous

gurggle grumble memgnfr. . . im stuck in a rut. Cammon life lets goooo. . . I feel like i've been waiting long enough, standing on the proverbial edge waiting for a leap. something. anything to just take off . . .

I really dont think watching the Maury Povich show with the "he-are-not-you-are-5zillionpercent-brother-sister-bestfriend-cousin-DNA-liedetector" Rigamaroll helpful.

Usually( as bad as it is) that tv show makes me feel better. Yelling boisterously at the tv over wether or not Chris is the father of Pancake's baby and what a dead beat he is, makes me laugh and smile. Dont ask me why and dont judge me blog. love me for who i am i say!

BUT I am resolved. Im going to keep applying to school even though the computer isn't letting me. . . grummble. I am ever hopeful and will try again. I am going to take a shower. sing my little heart out. and get put together to go find me a Yob.

and flippin Dina world I deserve a job that will make me happy and stimulate me. I will walk in there with confidence and a good hand shake. Be polite and smile but dont come off like a Wiener.

See I feel better already.

now excuse me. Some giant lady isn't sure if her daughters father is her husband or her husbands son. . .

*Giggle*

and just like that, the wind takes me again.

January in Sydney, 35 degrees. short shorts and tank tops.

liiiiivin in the shed. very much like bubbles ala the trailor park boys. Porridge in the morning in one mug and oj in the other.

step over bugs. cross my fingers for some toilet paper.

ah well not too much longer, i made a promise.

This season was really hard on my folks. mixed with some gentle pulls and coaxing from friends far away, I decided to come home early.

as a Surprise.

Without telling many people and certainly not my mother, I booked my ticket home.

After a late night of partying in Downtown Sydney with my bestest aussie pals,

and between running from the toilet to MPG packing her to the hilt the morning after. . .

I trudged into a cab and headed to the airport.

I stood there looking like some kind of sherpa. backpack on my back bigger and heavier than me, a second backpack strapped to my front (* for counter balance of course), teddy bear attached to the bag in front.

with a surfboard

in flip flops.

yeah boomin hang over.

14 - 15 hours later i landed in vancouver.

still in flip flops. still with the baggage.

efffff that was cold.

WHO FLIES TO CANADA IN THE WINTER IN FLIP FLOPS?!

not my brightest decision.

sydney-vancouver-vancouver-toronto - over night in toronto-finally Ottawa.

After a very surprised mother and very relieved friends, im back home again.

battling a flu bug but loving the snow.

I miss everyone over there but hey thats what happens when you'r coasting on the wind.

a bashfull return

Are you here Blog? its me! What do you mean "me who" its meeeeeee! Yeah!

no. . . no no over here! i'm wearing a pink top. . . noo BEHIND the massive guy in green. . . can you see me? I'm waving my arms around like a loon. yeah . . . yeah. . . right next to the uhhuh, Oh you see me?! you recognize me?!

Oh blog i'm so sorry (*loving embrace of the keys on my keyboard) I wont leave you again! I know I haven't written in a while but You must understand, I have had the gift of a fantasic two week vacation with the man and well . . . you know blog. . . somethings are better kept just on the down low if you know what I mean.

ANYWAYS - I am back now and in writing form. SO since i've left you dear bloggity blog blog, I have moved out of the apartment (*well we all did as the lease was up) and I am currently living close to a beautiful house, goooorgeous. about 10-15 bedrooms inside i'd guess and nice big kitchen, living room with a tv room hang out in, internet, all that jazz. I do not live in the house however NO NO friends. I am living in the backyard. In a shed. im not exagerating or kidding, its exactly how you would imagine a shed in tour backyard (* without snow for most of you) and its painted baby pink inside, dirty walls and floors, hanging light bulb the whole nine. its about six feet long and i'd guess 5 1/2 feet wide so its cosy but i can fit my surf board and my bags into it and thats what matters. that being said you have NO idea how many spider webs and creepy crawly critters i've have to wrangle to get out of my shed without killing. and the unlucky ones? I try and give those as a sacrifice to the spiders who live outside. GIANT. hairy. lurking in the middle of my path should I need water at night or heaven forbid heed the call of nature.

I have a system for eating that consists mainly of spoons. or spoon rather. It is a scooping spoon, the picking u spoon, the smearing spoon and the opening of most things spoon. I will never take cutlery for granted again and think that a spoon is the most important if not the most functional of all the utensils. i would consider a spork to be lucky to be considered a both.

But I am here. I am dry, i have two locks on the shed door and. . . bars on the windows. .. .Jesus Murphy its hot in here. cripes there is noooo circulation at all. thats okay though im on my own. in my owwwwwn place. and I looove it. everything is where I want it, how i want it and i can have whatever I want whenever I want it. . . no no dr. I would say im a "control freak" . . .

Oh and for those who arent sure - Jesus Murphy is the cousin of Jesus Christ. He isn't nearly as popular, he didnt do as well in school, made some bad choices, hung out with the "wrong crowd" if you will. I just think he's misunderstood . . . I digress.

Also interesting turn of events - whilst I am in Sydney, two people from my life that I had NEVER imagined i would see here are in fact. here. my cousin from Scotland who is my age is here with her boyfriend and it has been fabulous to see them, we are meeting up again today to go beaching. I haven't see her since i was 16 but with family it never matters how long its been thats whats so nice.

The second is a boy whom broke my little heart in 2007. Eeek? we lived together in Washington DC during a theatre production and after it was done, so were we in essence. . . . haven't had a whole lot of communication since but well see. ..

HEy remember when you . . .yeah . . .and then when I . . . .yyyeeeeah. . . *blink Blink*

We'll see. here to hopin for the best.

Jesus Murphy - if your not too busy today, it would reeeeealy be awesome if you could just keep an eye out for me. thanks pal

my insides are warm and melty. Just like Chocolate Lava Cake

* Obnoxiously big, see it from space, GIANT, GIGANTIC, MONSTEROUSLY BIG smile.*

my apartment is a disaster. the kitchen table is covered in empty alcohol vessels. its an international party of course. The confederate burbon is doing the cha cha with the Taquilla, The Vodka is taking advantage of the cold privacy in the freezer with one Jack Daniels and the bottle of Gin sits empty beside the tonic (just as full) as if to say "at least we went down together"

Happy New Years indeed.

i have had an amazing christmas. and am spending the past few and the nest few days with my amazing boyfriend. Im happy, Im in love, i've got a whole lot of good vibes heading out there world, I hope your ready

Must keep this one short again my appologies but I will add to it. I can see a very cute man sleeping in a very funny position that I must go hug. im sure you understand. . . . * daydreaming. . . *

what I can say for certain is that skydiving. is. mind.blowing.

Ode to Le Mac-ers

Mac-ers or (mack-as) as pronounced by aussies means McDonalds.

Now whhhhhhyyyy ho whhhyyy would I write about micccky-dee's?

well let me tell you.

I GOT A NEW LAPTOP! Huzzah! and by new i mean used and by Got I mean bid on line and freakin won! pretty pumped,

refurbished 13' macbook for 400 bones. deal.

Sooooo I am in Mackers and have purchased my 2.60$ coffee and am abusing the crap out of their FREE WIFI .

score!

it would take up waaaaaaay too much of our pre paid internet at the house to download Skype and the likes so although its slower here. . .its well free. and ill take that. win.

SO now i can skype for free if i plan my time right!!!!

Whoop Whoop Canoodle!!!

Happy Merry Ho-Ho !

xo